On Board

I feel like I can adapt to a lot of things. 

I am pretty open about styles, and think that there are a lot of things that I can "get on board" with.

These shoes are not one of them.

I just don't understand the appeal of having ones feet look like they belong on Frankenstein.

But if they tickle your fancy...well than all the power to you.

You can even go for silver with fur too.

I won't judge. No seriously...I won't. 

You kind of loose the opportunity to judge when you have worn something within the last month that was pulled out of a dumpster.

Funny story:

My friend April and I were at an estate sale. The lady having the estate sale had thrown away a bunch of vintage clothing. We looked in the dumpster and found a whole box of clothes. 

This shirt came to live with me.

The End.

Another thing that I can get on board with is having an old steamer trunk for our boys room. 

Granted it is large, but it is dual purpose. 

The kids can use it as a coffin/hiding space, and they can also put their toys in it and not have the option to dump the whole thing out. 

Can I get an amen?

One of my friends Wendy is in the hospital. 

She had to have a bone marrow transplant, which started out with a heavy round of Chemo. 

To do something nice, a lot of the kids in the neighborhood made hearts to go all over her door.

Gavin made this one. 

At first I thought that it was so so sweet then I laughed.

Take another look. That lady in the bed is Wendy. That scribble below the bed? Her hair. 

If I could start a conga line for my kids art I would.

When they make me look so pretty, how could I not?

Now, I am going to break it down for you.

I can not get on board with animals dressed as people.

Alright so I was going for stealthy but all I ended up with was a picture of Gavin. 

Check out the guy behind.

His dog was in a dress..waiting in line...to see Santa. 

Hey, if you wanna stand in line and take a picture with Santa and your pet...all the power to you. But please...please...don't start to talk about how you are worried because your dog is yawning and you are really nervous that your dog may fall asleep before their fancy picture.

Or... 

You may catch me rolling my eyes as I try to control my 4 yawning kids from tearing down Santa's whole establishment.

Speaking of Santa and animals...

Laney is positive that she is getting a bunny for Christmas. We have gone past the "I hope I get a bunny..." and into "When my bunny is here..."

I will be the first to tell you that animals...well...they aren't really my thing. 

But they used to be. I used to love them. I actually had a pet bunny which is where I am sure that Laney got the idea.

Originally when she started to say that she wanted a bunny I told her that I had a nice bunny, but that my sister Ramonah had a mean bunny. It was so mean that it would hiss and bite you.

Laney was not swayed. 

She just said that if her bunny was mean that we could put it outside. 

Canon said that if it was mean we could put it outside and not feed it, then it would die. 

Canon. 

Always coming up with evil options to things.

Anywho...

Then I got to thinking. I loved having pets growing up, and my kids should have the same option too. 

So....

coming to live with us on Christmas morning...

our new pet.

Blake and I originally thought that Laney would be distraught that Santa had not in fact brought her a bunny then I came up with a fool proof plan:

Write a note from Santa saying all of the bunnies were mean this year so, he brought us a cat instead. 

Then give Laney one of these bunnies to appease the last little bit of disappointment...if there is any.

So evidently I am on board with pets now. Just not dressing them up.

Because how could you resist that creepy/can't stop staring at it face?

It truly is a face only a mother could love.

I seriously don't know what she was doing.

No really. 

No idea.

Mother's Day

They say being a mother is a thankless job. I would have to agree about 364 days a year.

Then sometimes there are things that make it OK that no one cares about what you are doing.

Like little ponytails in nonexistent hair.

It really makes it worth it.

And the cards, oh how I love the cards.

Would it be silly of me to say that I have waited for our kids to be old enough to make me things for mother's day and know what they are doing?

Laney told me that she made me this necklace and should I get hungry during church I could just eat it.

I wore it with pride.

I didn't even take a nibble, even though I was given the green light.

And just when you are thinking you have it all together there is nothing like your kids to give you a good reality check.

Laney the other day couldn't stop talking about my friend Mindy and what a GREAT mom she is.

I should have just kept my mouth shut. 

Instead I said "What about me?"

To which she replied that she liked Mindy because she was (and I quote) "Way prettier than me."

So imagine my delight when they did a little questionnaire with Laney at school about me.

I appreciate the fact that I am 23.

I am not loving the 300 lbs. or the fact that she solidifies it with my favorite thing to do is "Make food."

However, if my favorite food is broccoli, then I am certain that I don't have a problem.

Gavin is a champ at speaking French these days so it was sweet to hear him translate my card.

He also was aiding in me getting a big head when he wrote this poem.

Don't worry. He put me in my place.

He told me "Dads are way better than Moms"

When I asked him why, and told him that Mom's were pretty cool and without Mom's he would eat Top Ramen for dinner every night.

He clarified his original statement by saying "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that everyone likes Dads more than Moms."

Case closed.

     But I know that I am making a impact when I get something like this:

-My Mothers Day Book-

-My Mom has blond hair.-

-My Mom likes pasta.-

Notice the steam? And the fact that I am indulging in a giant bowl of pasta while lounging in a chair in the sun?

(Although this isn't helping me look like I am not obsessed with food.)

  

-My Mom doesn't like me hitting other people.-

True dat.

-My Mom's favorite thing to do with my mom is going shopping.-

Not only do I like to shop, but I do it in style. Skirt on, holding hands, with a little one in the basket.

Then we get down to the stuff that is really important. 

Grab a tissue.

-I love my mom because,

She lets me play the DS.-

And there you have it folks.

Kicking butt and taking names.  

Pearls Of Wisdom

I have stuff I could be blogging about but quite frankly it is Thursday and I am not feeling terribly witty, or even moderately likable at the moment. My kids are funny, though, so I will leave it up to them to dazzle you with their charming personalities.

Penny: pants-less and proud. She has also taken it upon herself to be the resident screamer. And not just any yell will do, I am talking only high pitched shrills.
Gavin and Laney: The two of them say a lot of funny crap. When they have conversations I listen in just for the little nuggets of goodness. Some recent conversations:
G: What rhymes with ball?
L: Hall!
G: Good job. What rhymes with more?
L: Whore.
G: Good. What rhymes with wag?
L: Fag.

L: It looks like it is going to rain today.
(This was the sky the day Laney said that. No lie. I made Blake take a picture only to prove that she was loco. Nothing like parading your child's crazy all over the Internet. Solid parenting. Almost as good as making it look like we have been teaching her words like whore and fag.)

Canon: He makes me laugh. Daily. His new thing is telling me he is wearing his "Mommy shirt. It's scary."
Sometimes I am am. Scary that is.

It's Just a Bead

The kids found these little red beads out in our front yard and here are just a few of the gems that they said about them. "These are our babies. I am gonna name mine Rose and Gavin is gonna name his Nemo."

"Look how little it is. It is smaller than Penny. This can fit in a lid and Penny can't because my baby is little."

"Mine is gonna turn into a clown fish."

"Isn't it fun we all have babies? I have a baby and Gavin has a baby and Canon has a baby and you have Penny. Dad doesn't have a baby though."

"I think I left my baby in the car. Can you unlock it so I can find it?"

On a side note I did have to tell Canon to keep his "baby" out of his mouth. Fingers crossed this isn't a preview into the future.

Good To Know

Laney: What are we having for dinner?
Me: Tacos.
Laney: With meat?
Me: Yep.
Laney: Good. I like meat because I like the color blue now.
Me: ..........
Laney: Meat isn't blue though, mom.

Pink

It was a sad couple of days for the color Pink at our house.

First Laney decided that it would be fun to color on her toy shelves.

When asked why she did it she answered with the classic

"Because Um Did."

We bought a new pair of pink shoes for Laney only to have her wear them and get them all scratched up within the first hour.
It was heartbreaking for her.
She was truly devastated.
So we went back and bought her a second pair.

The same day that we bought the new shoes we also got these new tights.
She wore them for 15 minutes and then came in crying because they had a hole in them.
We got her another new pair of tights too.

Just when we were beginning to think that the color pink was cursed

this lovely wig came in the mail to brighten our day.

Just a little Halloween prep...

Hello Friends

Laney has a lot of babies.

She loves them.

She also names them.

From left to right:

Axe, Chloe, and Brown Baby.You got that right. The baby on the right wearing the pink with the blue eyes is called "Brown baby."

I don't pretend to understand.

Laney did however, let us know that if we wanted we could name the new baby "Axe"
I figure having a child named Canon and one named Axe might be a little much.

I have found her like this twice. Totally asleep...using the babies as a pillow.

Inventive

Normally our kids play pretty well together.

But occasionally there will be some screaming. I like to let them figure it out for themselves.

They are going to have to do that in life anyways...why not start now?

Today Laney was screaming...

then she came upstairs to inform me

"Gavin took my pink pony and I was playing with it first and he took it away from me."

Me: "Well, go tell Gavin to give it back."

(This is normally all I say and then they figure it out themselves...mostly)

Laney tromps down the stairs and I hear her yell at Gavin:

"Gavin. Mom says that you can't play with your Leapster for the rest of the day!"

We then had a discussion about not saying things that Mom didn't say.

My Girl

Laney is a funny little girl.

I am sure that all people think that their kids are entertaining...

I do too.

She does funny things that make me laugh but she also does things that are strange...but just normal for her.

The other day we bought her a new bathing suit.

She was thrilled.

When we got home she put it on (with her underwear still on).

She let us know that she wanted to wear it for quiet time. So we let her.

She wore that bathing suit the rest of the day.

After quiet time was over she still wanted to wear it but I told her to go put some clothes on.

She did. Over her bathing suit. Laney has always been a funny little talker. When she was little it almost sounded like she had a speech impediment.
She talks a lot and likes to tell stories or just inform you of what has happened during the day.
Most of the time when she is really into her story she does a funny little "click" noise with her tongue. This lets us know that she is gearing up to tell us something good.
Such as:

"The joker is funny because he tells jokes. He said lets go make a snowman...(click)...and there isn't any snow."

Rainbow Connection Powered By Duracell

Gavin: "I see the rainbow."
Laney: "Jesus turned it on."
Gavin: "Oh no! Where is it going?"
Laney: "He turned it off."
Gavin: "Yeah the batteries are dead so he turned it off so he could charge them."
Laney: "Yes. He needs to charge them."

This Is "Willy"

I got to hold "Willy" when I went to our "old house." She is Warwals baby. I couldn't figure out where Brian's baby was.

(her baby acne was in full force...mom feels her pain.)

What Kind Of Operation Are You Running Here?

The other day while watching Hells Kitchen on the internet Laney can by and asked

L: "Is that my other dad?'
M: "What?"
L: "Is that my dad?" Pointing to Gordon Ramsey on the computer.
M: "No. Your dad's at work."
L: "Is that my dad?" Still pointing to Gordon Ramsey on the computer.
M: "No. Your dad is at work."
L: ....silence....