On Board

I feel like I can adapt to a lot of things. 

I am pretty open about styles, and think that there are a lot of things that I can "get on board" with.

These shoes are not one of them.

I just don't understand the appeal of having ones feet look like they belong on Frankenstein.

But if they tickle your fancy...well than all the power to you.

You can even go for silver with fur too.

I won't judge. No seriously...I won't. 

You kind of loose the opportunity to judge when you have worn something within the last month that was pulled out of a dumpster.

Funny story:

My friend April and I were at an estate sale. The lady having the estate sale had thrown away a bunch of vintage clothing. We looked in the dumpster and found a whole box of clothes. 

This shirt came to live with me.

The End.

Another thing that I can get on board with is having an old steamer trunk for our boys room. 

Granted it is large, but it is dual purpose. 

The kids can use it as a coffin/hiding space, and they can also put their toys in it and not have the option to dump the whole thing out. 

Can I get an amen?

One of my friends Wendy is in the hospital. 

She had to have a bone marrow transplant, which started out with a heavy round of Chemo. 

To do something nice, a lot of the kids in the neighborhood made hearts to go all over her door.

Gavin made this one. 

At first I thought that it was so so sweet then I laughed.

Take another look. That lady in the bed is Wendy. That scribble below the bed? Her hair. 

If I could start a conga line for my kids art I would.

When they make me look so pretty, how could I not?

Now, I am going to break it down for you.

I can not get on board with animals dressed as people.

Alright so I was going for stealthy but all I ended up with was a picture of Gavin. 

Check out the guy behind.

His dog was in a dress..waiting in line...to see Santa. 

Hey, if you wanna stand in line and take a picture with Santa and your pet...all the power to you. But please...please...don't start to talk about how you are worried because your dog is yawning and you are really nervous that your dog may fall asleep before their fancy picture.

Or... 

You may catch me rolling my eyes as I try to control my 4 yawning kids from tearing down Santa's whole establishment.

Speaking of Santa and animals...

Laney is positive that she is getting a bunny for Christmas. We have gone past the "I hope I get a bunny..." and into "When my bunny is here..."

I will be the first to tell you that animals...well...they aren't really my thing. 

But they used to be. I used to love them. I actually had a pet bunny which is where I am sure that Laney got the idea.

Originally when she started to say that she wanted a bunny I told her that I had a nice bunny, but that my sister Ramonah had a mean bunny. It was so mean that it would hiss and bite you.

Laney was not swayed. 

She just said that if her bunny was mean that we could put it outside. 

Canon said that if it was mean we could put it outside and not feed it, then it would die. 

Canon. 

Always coming up with evil options to things.

Anywho...

Then I got to thinking. I loved having pets growing up, and my kids should have the same option too. 

So....

coming to live with us on Christmas morning...

our new pet.

Blake and I originally thought that Laney would be distraught that Santa had not in fact brought her a bunny then I came up with a fool proof plan:

Write a note from Santa saying all of the bunnies were mean this year so, he brought us a cat instead. 

Then give Laney one of these bunnies to appease the last little bit of disappointment...if there is any.

So evidently I am on board with pets now. Just not dressing them up.

Because how could you resist that creepy/can't stop staring at it face?

It truly is a face only a mother could love.

I seriously don't know what she was doing.

No really. 

No idea.

Epic Fail

So far November has not been the best month for me. If November was a person I would probably tell it to "Take a hike." (Or some other things that when typed out look way worse then when I say them.) Evidence of November's sucky-ness include:

• The other day when at Walmart I had all of the kids but Laney. I had went to go return some tape that I had bought, and figured that it would be a good time to check and see if there were any new book releases. All the kids were piled in the cart like caged animals, but were acting quite well. When we walked down the book aisle there was a gentlemen in a wheelchair. Penny started squawking at Gavin to give her a bracelet that he had. When out of no where this guy yells at me "Geez! Can't you teach your kid how to stop screaming and shut up!" I was so caught off guard that I started to laugh. Then I said "Good luck with that. She has an opinion just like everyone else."
• After leaving Walmart because I was so bugged at that guy I walked out to the car and started to load the kids in. When I heard a car door open and some stuff hit the pavement. (Now...mind you...I hate when people litter. Hate it.) I look over and a lady is sitting in her car smoking and she has thrown a whole bunch of trash out of her car including her cigarette box. So I gave her a nasty look and then proceeded to buckle the kids in and finish loading the groceries into the car. After I was done she was still sitting in her car smoking. So I closed all of our car doors and then standing out side of our car in a loud voice said "IT IS NOT SOMEONES JOB TO PICK UP YOUR TRASH! THAT IS WHAT GARBAGE CANS ARE FOR! SO GET OUT OF YOUR CAR AND THROW YOUR TRASH AWAY IN THE GARBAGE!" The lady nodded her head at me then she opened up her door, picked up her garbage, and closed her door. It was not my finest hour. There is nothing like shaming a grown women in the Walmart parking lot to make you feel like you have gone completely nutso.
• I recently ordered a dress. I hummed and hawed over whether or not I should. (Mind you it was only $40). I received order conformation and a tracking number saying it should arrive on Friday. Friday came and I didn't get my dress, so I checked the tracking number and it said that my package had been delivered. Thinking that there had been a mix up I asked the post lady about it the next day. Long story short, she had accidentally delivered my package to the house a couple houses up from us. When she went to their house the next day to get my package they said that "All of their packages from the day before were fine but that someone must have took my package." Liar liars pants on fires.

• Gavin and Canon both got sick. Gavin had croup which was so bad that he could hardly breathe. After two trips to the doctor two days in a row he was finally on the mend. Now Canon has it. Although the worst has passed. On the plus side:
• I got a replacement dress sent to me and they also refunded me my money. Free dresses do good things for the soul.
  
• Laney and Penny have not caught the sickness that is being passed around our house.
  
• I am fairly certain that the lady I publicly scolded will most likely not litter anytime soon.
• Me and the mail lady are new BFF's.

Pearls Of Wisdom

I have stuff I could be blogging about but quite frankly it is Thursday and I am not feeling terribly witty, or even moderately likable at the moment. My kids are funny, though, so I will leave it up to them to dazzle you with their charming personalities.

Penny: pants-less and proud. She has also taken it upon herself to be the resident screamer. And not just any yell will do, I am talking only high pitched shrills.
Gavin and Laney: The two of them say a lot of funny crap. When they have conversations I listen in just for the little nuggets of goodness. Some recent conversations:
G: What rhymes with ball?
L: Hall!
G: Good job. What rhymes with more?
L: Whore.
G: Good. What rhymes with wag?
L: Fag.

L: It looks like it is going to rain today.
(This was the sky the day Laney said that. No lie. I made Blake take a picture only to prove that she was loco. Nothing like parading your child's crazy all over the Internet. Solid parenting. Almost as good as making it look like we have been teaching her words like whore and fag.)

Canon: He makes me laugh. Daily. His new thing is telling me he is wearing his "Mommy shirt. It's scary."
Sometimes I am am. Scary that is.

Do Not Be Fooled

He is cute. He is little. He is a boy. He is mischievous. Seriously, look at his eyes. He is plotting how to reek havoc in the most unassuming way. He is clever. He is imaginative. Look at my helmet. The net "helmet" came in quite handy for keeping a hold of him. I am not sure that his siblings appreciated a big hole in their net. But...he could fold his arms. How can you be mad at someone when they are attempting to be reverent?
"Yook, I'm folding my arms."
He has also taken it upon himself to help Penny with her milk. By...er...hiding it? Chunky milk in the camera bag? Where do I sign up? If that wasn't enough. I have now realized that he can't be left alone with butter. Who stuck their fingers in the butter?
I did.
What did you wipe it on? Did you put it on your shirt?
I put it in my mouth.
I suppose that is as good a place as any.

Good To Know

Laney: What are we having for dinner?
Me: Tacos.
Laney: With meat?
Me: Yep.
Laney: Good. I like meat because I like the color blue now.
Me: ..........
Laney: Meat isn't blue though, mom.

Difference Of Opinion

Last night Blake and I were talking about how little Canon's waist is.
Then Blake said "You know who has the smallest waist? Penny."
Now when Blake says that she has the smallest waist he is not kidding. When compared to her size her waist is significantly smaller than normal.
I told Blake that when ever I change her diaper I can't help but think of those frogs that you dissect in Junior High. The ones with the swollen bellies, tiny little waists and normal sized legs.
That is just what Penny looks like.

Blake said that when he changes her diaper he thinks of Mr. Incredible.
Same theory. Swollen belly, tiny waist, normal sized legs.

Umm...Mr. Incredible is far less morbid than my dissected frog.

Child Labor

At our house we have implemented a chore chart. It seems to be working well.

We told the kids that they have to complete 4 jobs a day in order to receive a quarter per day.

Their jobs are things like: cleaning their rooms, picking up dirty clothes, setting and clearing the table, making their beds and sweeping.

Laney has gotten a quarter every day since we have started. Gavin is not quiet as diligent and has found a way to be a little more sneaky about it.

Yesterday Gavin picked up his toys before quiet time, made his bed, picked up his dirty clothes, and cleared the table.

After realizing that he had already completed 4 jobs he decided to not clean up his room before bed.

So Laney did it, all by herself while Gavin read a book.

Sneaky sneaky.

The other day the kids got to take their money to Target to buy a toy. We counted out their quarters, paid tithing, and then put their quarters in a baggie to take to the store.

I am not sure what Laney was more excited about. Buying a toy or being able to give her money "to the Prophet so he can give it to Jesus."

We have explained many times that she will not be able to give her money to the Prophet that she will just give it to the Bishop. She has told me that "I will give my money to the Prophet and then Heavenly Father will come down and get it."

It's a work in progress.

A Smorgasbord Of Usless Information

• Laney was playing with the keys yesterday and lost them. I told the kids that they were not allowed to play with any toys until the keys were found. After about 5 seconds of looking Gavin told me "we are never going to find the keys." My reply was "Well, if you never find the keys then you will never play with toys again." That must of lit some fire under him because about 2 minutes later he came prancing in with the keys declaring that he had found them under Laney's kitchen. Because that is a perfectly acceptable place to put keys.

• I am on a self imposed one month shopping ban. (Mind you: I do get an allowance. I am just forgoing said allowance.) Not having a car and still not having good friends that you hang out with is hard. Normally when I am bored I start perusing the Internet. I normally come across some deal or item...one thing leads to another...and I find myself the owner of a new pair of shoes, or shirt, or belt, or dress, or skirt, you get the idea. I have decided that being bored is fiscally straining. Perhaps my next pick up line for a friend should be "Hi, I'm Hannah. I have three kids and one on the way. My kids will outnumber your kids 2 to 1. But I am willing to give this friendship a go because...well...lets face it. Being bored is not good for my bank account. So you in?"
• In my attempt to stay busy I have found lots of things to make. Most of them being pillows. I am not really sure where I am going to put all of these pillows when I am done. I suppose I could just stack them up one right on top of the other and build a bed. Then the kids and I could play a game like "can you feel that car shoved in between the pillows?" Kind of like the princess and the pea. Only I am going to use a car or some other toy. Who wants a pea squished on their new pillows?
• I have also made a lot of hair bows.
  
• Canon calls anything with wheels a choo choo train. Which I find completely adorable.
• Our garden is growing nicely. We have had some snails eating my plants which makes me a little hostile. The other day we sprinkled slug and snail bait down to kill the little suckers. I told our kids it was to kill the bugs. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I wanted to kill the snails. They love snails, in their little shell...looking all innocent. Vultures.
• I replanted zucchini plants 3 times this year. Every time I have planted them they have died. I was complaining to my mom one day about this and she laughed at me. "Zucchini plants are weeds." Well, this girl could not get that weed to grow for the life of her. What does that say about me and my green thumb? After much lamenting about how I couldn't even grow a weed, guess what decided to finally sprout? Moral of the story, I guess I can grow a weed. I feel super accomplished.
  

Our Little Secret

I just had the following conversation on the phone with a gentleman with a very heavy Mexican accent.

Me: Hello?
Is this Hannah?

Me: Yes.

Hi.

Me: Hi.

----------silence-------

Me: Who is this?

This is Alfredo.

Me: Alfredo, I don't know who you are.

We met online.

Me: No we didn't.

Are you sure? Did I dial the wrong number?

Me: I don't know if you have the wrong number...My name is Hannah and this is my number.

We didn't meet online?

Me: Nope. I am married with 3 kids and one on the way. I am pretty sure we didn't meet online Alfredo.

Are you sure?

Me: Yep.

OK. Bye.

Me: bye.

Baby

We are having another Girl.

Yeah.

We are happy that things will be even at our house.

Here is her profile.
Here is her attempt at modesty.
Those are legs crossed at the ankles for those of you that are not ultrasound pros.
Laney is very happy and wants the baby to come out now.

On a side note:
The other day when trying to explain how doctors can see what sex the baby is the following conversation took place.

Gavin: How can they tell if it is a boy or a girl?

Me: Babies are naked, so if it is a boy they will be able to see his wiener. If it is a girl they will be able to see her vagina.

Gavin: Her what?!

Me: Vagina. That is what girls have.

Gavin: Yeah. But what is it?

Me: It is her crotch.

Gavin: Oooh.

Laney: If it is a boy then I will not hold his wiener hand to play ring around the rosie.

It Was Bound To Happen

Not much is happening at our house lately. Nothing worth blogging about anyways. The kids say funny things so that seems to be the theme of this blog lately. Truth be told most of the people reading this blog care more about them then what is going on in my life anyways. Which by the way is nothing. I am working on a couple of projects and as soon as I finish them I will post pictures.

On another note:

The other day when shopping at Walmart we were standing in line to check out when I had the following conversation with Laney:

Laney: Why is that persons skin black?

Me: Well that is just the color of their skin.

Laney: Are they a boy or a girl?

Me: They are a girl.

Laney: What is their name?

Me: Their name is Lanette

Laney: Can they not talk?

Me: No. They can talk.

I figured one day this would come up. I had hoped it would be in the privacy of our house or car. But what are you going to do? When I was telling Blake the story he asked if I was embarrassed. I told him No. If an adult can't understand why a child is curious then that is their own fault. I always figured that Gavin would be the one to say something like that. However, lately he has been telling me that people have different hair, and skin, and eyes and that that is OK. It is nice to see he is learning diversity in preschool. Especially living here in Utah where there is not much of it.

Regular On Goings At Our House

Canon is notorious for stashing food under his plate at dinner.

He just takes it off his plate and puts it under it.

The other day while cleaning up their rooms I heard Laney say

"Gavin you got sticky balls for your birthday."

Oh....

While cleaning up the next day the following conversation took place:

Laney: "Gavin what do you have a lifesaver for?"

Gavin: "So if people are mean I will just kill them with it."

Makes perfect sense.

I Also Have A Bachelor Pad In NYC

We went to the Bellagio Atrium last weekend. It was as lovely as ever.

We were trying to get all of the kids to stand by me to take a picture. This is the best one. I am not looking at the camera and the other two kids are not in the frame...but Canon looks cute. A little self portrait.
Laney and Gavin in front of the ladybug that is made out of flowers.
While we were down on the strip I was carrying Canon and a gentlemen behind me says in a "I'm speaking to a baby" kind of voice,

"Well it is probably your first time in Vegas."

Me: "No. We live here."

Man: "Oh, I was talking to the little guy."

Me: "Yeah...he lives here too."

You know those 8 month old kids really like to hop on a plane by themselves and get some strange lady to carry them around town so that they can experience Vegas firsthand.

I'm just saying.

You Can Say That Again.

Today Blake and I were discussing how our kids are just a running commentary of what is going on. They talk non stop. I kid you not. This morning Gavin and Laney had this conversation after Gavin had gone to get a pen from the book Grandma Miller had given them.

G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?
G: Laney, your book doesn't have a pen in it.
L: What?

Yep. Gavin said the same thing 7 times in a row. I counted.